Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
