just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
