How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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