I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
