we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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