dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
