I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
