btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
