If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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