it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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