so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
