Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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