I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize