have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
