I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
