Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
