also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
