i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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