whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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