She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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