just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
