either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize