WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
