May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize