I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
