I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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