Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
