OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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