sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
