I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
