i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
