To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
