god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
