3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
is it fun? or sober?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
