mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
