Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
