Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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