I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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