you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We're too hungover to prance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I see more hoeing in ur future
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