I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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