i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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