you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
