This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
