It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
