lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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