She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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