it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I did not marry a roomba.
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