Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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