Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
