I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
