we're blogging at a bar
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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