You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
