i just had sex bonerless
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
