yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
