Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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