someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
