I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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