If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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