You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I deserve this hangover.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
