You can't motorboat a personality
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
