She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
