do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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