I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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