I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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