I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
