quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
