Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
