Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm at about main and main street
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
