Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize