careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
