I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
